Search For Humanity
by thisaccountismine
Summary: Loki, banished to Earth by his own brother, is hoped to find a sense of humanity. Helping a girl while helping himself will cause his emotions to fly. Anger, Romance, Depression, Vengeance, and hope all sorround Loki as he fights to reunite with Thor in a not so pleasent manor. (The extra spacing means uncharted time)
1. Chapter 1

A king thrust into a world of loss and despair. A warrior shoved into a land of famine and death. A god begging for cash on a street corner. The rightful heir of Asgard put here, on Earth. What kind of sick joke was this? He was put on a wretched rock full of hairless apes, how could a god possibly survive in a place such as this? People following orders like a herd of cattle lined up for slaughter, following repetitive routines like mindless monkeys, what kind of world was this? Minds so dull a circle was sharper than them. Yet he depended on these baboons for money. Finally after maybe 50 people had passed him on the cold wet side walk, a dollar was put into his hands. He found it strange. Green with small intricate designs and a green face of a man in the center to match. On the back of the crumpled paper was a pyramid with a single eye floating on top of it, and ironically, the words "In God We Trust" sprawled across the rectangular paper. He chuckled at the saying. Maybe if they really did trust god he wouldn't be sitting on a soggy slab of cardboard in the middle of New York City. He looked up at the nonexistent stars through the brightness of the billboards and the smog of the city smoke. He missed home, but knew he couldn't return. Loki looked at the worn face on the green piece of paper once again and thought to himself why anybody would ever want to have their face plastered on something so corrupt. He sighed and looked up to find a tall brunette starring at him.

"Been a while since you've seen a dollar hmmm?" She yelled over the passing cars, head tilted and hair blowing to the East.

"More than a while." Loki admitted through his visible breath in the cold. In fact he had never held a dollar in his hands before.

"Come with me." The girl held out her palm and patiently waited for Loki to grab it. But he had no idea what the gesture meant. He stared at her soft blue eyes, puzzled, before finally speaking.

"And what would someone like you want anything to do with a homeless man such as myself?" Loki was bored and angry, he wasn't going to take this woman's offer and show how weak he was.

"And what is a man like you doing on the streets?" The woman, who seemed to be in her early 20's kept pushing at Loki, event though she had no idea as to why she wanted to help this individual so much. Perhaps it was the hurt she could see in his face, the anger and betrayal shining through his eyes.

"Touché." Loki kept his eyes on hers looking for any kind of sense of giving up from her, but there was none.

She shook her still outstretched hand a little bit to try and get him to take it. "C'mon, just take it." The bright blue stars that decorated her face pleaded Loki to take her hand, and he did.

"Alright." he sighed as he took her small hand in his and stood up.

She guided the strange man through mazes of people, none of which knew his identity, including herself. Loki glimpsed at all of their faces noticing the sorrow and pain that each face wore as they starred down at the ground or at an electronic portable device. Some held brief cases that slowly wore down their strength, some held the hands of children. Children who have yet to experience the sorrow their parents deal with every day. Loki took a mental note to make sure that every single one of these miserable souls would one day remember his name.

Eventually, they ended their journey at a small flat a ways from Times Square. The lady pulled out a key and promptly opened the door for the stranger. Loki stepped inside unsure of how to react in this situation, nobody had ever seen him in such a vulnerable state before.

"So this is how a human lives." Loki looked around the small home. The living room and kitchen were conjoined and next to that was a hallway with three doors. A bedroom, a bath room, and a guest room.

"Yes. Not all of us live in big fancy houses or on the streets. Most live in places such as this."

"I lived in a palace before I was cast out to the streets. I was going to be king, but sadly my brother took it all from me, and now I have no choice other than to stay in a flat. How things have changed." Loki looked down and shook his head. "But thanks to you brother I now have time to plan my revenge in peace." He smiled and then looked over to the woman's confused face.

"So you come from India or something? I don't know many places where there are princes." She walked over to the kitchen and started to play with some metal cooking instrument.

"No I come from a place much further, a place undiscovered by your kind. Where I come from there are giant courtyards, and golden palace walls. I come from a place called Asgard." He cringed at the name of the vary place that betrayed him.

"Asgard, that sounds nice... In what country is that?" She poured some water into the pot like tool.

"You really are thick headed. Asgard doesn't belong to any of your 'countries' it stands on its own." He took a seat on the armchair next to him.

"Never heard of it." She turned a knob and walked over to where he sat legs crossed on the chair. She did have to admit, he did look like he belonged on a throne.

"My names Dakota by the way." She gave a brief smile and moved some clustered papers off a chair across from him in order to take a seat.

"Mine is," Loki paused. He couldn't say his real name, not yet. He glanced around the room to find anything to help him create his new identity. He swiftly brushed his eyes over a book written by an author named, "John, my name is John." She starred at him for a moment and then started to fiddle with the bracelets she wore on her wrist. After a few moments of silence a sort of whistling noise filled to room they sat in.

"What ever is it that you are doing, Dakota?" The name sounded nice rolling off his tongue and he tried to remind himself where he had heard it before.

"It's just tea. It's cold outside and I thought you might want something to warm you up." She smiled again and walked over to the steaming pot.

"How could one be so happy in a world such as this one?" he blurted out. "I've seen little of this world, yet it disgusts me. You humans are nothing but pre-developed chimpanzees swinging around mindlessly in the corrupt jungle you have called home." He became furious then. Even when a person was given the worst of circumstances they could be happy, a feeling Loki had not felt in a long time. Ever since he had found out he was adopted from the frost giants he couldn't bring himself to smile. Even though his father told Loki and his brother Thor that they had a fair chance to be king, Loki was never going to be the ruler. He was half frost giant. With a cold heart that beat only for violence, there was no room for joy. He was never a part of Asgard, only an outsider. That may have been why it was so easy for Thor to cast him out in the cold dark city of New York.

"You speak as if you're not from this world." Dakota laughed nervously and looked at Loki's cold green eyes. "Besides I've got everything I need. A roof, food, water, and good health. There's not much else that I would want."

"But what about the bad things that have happened to you, the times that you weren't happy. Don't you crave revenge on those who have hurt you, pain on the places that have betrayed you?!" Loki instantly thought of home. He would be back and he would make them pay.

"Well of course I want revenge, but there's no point in hurting someone, thats what got you upset in the first place." She pushed her thick hair out of her eyes and behind her ear. "John, You cant fight fire with fire, you need water to put a stop to the blaze." She tossed a cup of water over the open flame in the stove top that was heating the tea, further proving her point.

"But what if you have no water? You only have the fire that has been slowly burning your insides. How can you forget the betrayal of your own family member?" Thor would pay for what he did. No mortal could talk him out of his plan for revenge. Not even one as pretty as Dakota.

"Maybe you just need to try and remember the good times rather than the bad ones." She handed Loki a cup full of the strange liquid she called tea. He took the cup in his hands and stared into the brownish looking water. In the reflective tea he saw images of him and Thor as just kids battling with wooden swords, laughing together, playing together, being family together. The tea rippled as he sat in the chair behind him, changing the image. Thor was playfully teasing Loki for reading. He never did understand the magic behind a good book, he was always too concerned with his hair or physical strength. Loki laughed to himself about Thor's egotistical manner. Its true, no matter how badly he didn't want to remember the good times, they were still there, yet he couldn't possibly put out his flames with only a pinch of the water he had received.

"Are you going to drink it or just stare at it?" She knew he was thinking about what she had said and knew that she was right as well, but how could she force him to follow orders that she herself couldn't even try to complete. He was wrong about the happiness he accused her of having, she only put on the fake smile to help him feel welcomed. She had family issues too, her dad committed suicide ten years ago and left a note saying it was her fault. How could some one do that to a 16 year old? She was already going through enough crap in high school. To this day she still doesn't know what she could have done to make her own father kill himself. Her scars weren't from growing rose bushes, working at the animal shelter, or any other excuse she used, no they were scars to remind herself that she was a burden, a speck of dirt on a clean white table cloth.

"Sorry it seems I was distracted for a moment" Loki took a sip of the bitter drink scattering Dakota's thoughts. Dakota's eyes met his and they sat like that for a while, it looked as if they were mentally sharing their stories between sips of tea. About two cups of the drink later Loki asked if he should leave before it gets too dark.

"No, please stay." Dakota blushed at her own foolishness, she wanted this stranger to stay forever. "I have a spare bedroom that you can use as long as you would like." She motioned him to the room, face still red. Loki stepped inside and let his eyes wonder around the pale green walls, wooden furniture, and twin sized bed.

"Thank you. I would love to stay but-"

"But what? You'd rather sleep on the streets? Please just stay at least one night." Dakota pleaded him to stay with her eyes. This man seemed as if he was secure, but still knowledgable enough to realize the truth of what this world truly contained. She may have even admitted to herself she was falling for him, but she knew she was too broken to be with a man like that.

"Alright then." How could even a god say no to such pleading eyes? Blue as the small pools that decorated the palace courtyard he grew up in and sparkling like night-time stars. He wanted to gaze into them forever, get lost in the two round oceans that decorated her face, but she turned around and told him goodnight.

Loki continued to stare a her as she walked to her room, her blue jeans and tight fitting band shirt complemented her curves nicely, yet it was a rather strange outfit for a woman in Asgard. He imagined her in a beautiful ball gown as he laid his head into the white pillow. She would be considered stunningly beautiful back home.

Dakota didn't lay down in her bed, instead that night she sat and continued scribbling away creating new loose papers to decorate her home. Some where drawings, a few were stories, and most reasons why she would cause her father to die. Tonight it was none of the above. She wrote a poem. Perhaps it was because of the romantic feelings she was receiving or the depression that constantly clouded her, but what ever the reason she was feeling poetic. Never had she written a poem that wasn't a school project, so she knew it wouldn't be the best, yet she still sighed when she finished.

Drowning in darkness I asked myself,  
Why do you fear the joy he brings,  
Maybe its because you don't trust it,  
The feeling is to good to be real,  
It must just be an illusion,  
A trick to further disappoint you,  
A false image made by the mind,  
Love doesn't exist, only despair,  
Yet with him I feel it really does.

She pushed the paper away and crawled under the covers, another useless scribble to decorate her home.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

"So how do you think that brother of yours is holding up in a place like Earth?" Grumbled Volstagg before placing a handful of food from the table into his mouth.

"If I could hardly call him that." Sighed Thor as he stared at his trusted ally in disgust.

"You didn't answer the question Thor." Sif stared at Thor as if challenging him, which wasn't unnormal for a warrior maiden such as her.

"I have no interest in my brothers whereabouts or his feelings, I am only grateful that we could exclude his destructive presence before he caused too much damage." Thor was bored of all this talk about Loki, he was nearly just another nuisance to the kingdom of Asgard, and Thor hoped Loki may find some humanity within him down on Earth, where Thor had been casted away himself.

"You don't even care about him a tiny bit?" Hogun questioned as he too took some food off the table beside them.

"Not at all, and why should I? He wasn't anything but dead weight to my father and now, to me." Thor grabbed his hammer Mjolnir and swung it above his head. "Anyone up for a little dueling?" Thor didn't even blink before Sif replied,

"I'm always willing to kick your ass."

"Is that so?" Thor raised his eyebrow and swung his hammer once more in front of him. "So be it!"

"Guys, c'mon we were having a really nice heart to heart chat about Thor's family issues, why must you guys end every conversation with a fi-" Hogun didn't even finish, they weren't listening to him anyway. Thor had already begun the first blow creating another duel between Thor and his ally. "Thats 17 duels this week if I counted correctly." he sighed to Volstagg.

"19 actually" He replied back between mouthfuls of food.

"That's Got to be a record or something."

"No, three weeks ago they reached 24."

"Shall we depart?"

"I believe so."

Thor sat on the long stairwell that led up to the palace, he was contemplating whether to leave Loki amongst the humans forever or to bring him back home eventually. Even though he would never admit it he did love his brother, despite his erratic behavior. Thor looked down at the people below him and realized that bringing back Loki meant bringing back destruction. No matter what his recent affiliations where with Loki, he had to think of his people, and that meant leaving Loki behind... Forever.  
"My dear son, what is it that is troubling you?" Odin stood above Thor and starred at him sympathetically with his one good eye.  
"Its just that I cant seem to fathom that my own flesh and blood would betray our world, although he never was really my brother was he? So maybe I am just making a big deal out of nothing." Thor stood up and made sure to hide his concern for his brother quickly. No matter how much he despised what his brother had become, he still had a little hope that the old Loki was still in there.  
"You shouldn't worry to much about Loki, he was just another traitor that had to be dismissed. You are soon to be king now, theres no time for worrying about your unruly 'brother'." Thor could feel Odin's hatred towards Loki with the last word he spoke. While he knew Loki was a pest to Asgard he still couldn't fight the brotherly love he had for him.  
"I understand father." But sadly for Loki he was more loyal to his country rather than an unreliable brother.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3  
Loki laid sprawled on his bed, eyes open and mind racing. There was no point in even trying to sleep that night. He starred at the ceiling for a couple more minutes contemplating if he really wanted to put in the effort to stand up. Turning his head he could see the red numbers glowing "2:01". With a sigh he finally rolled out of bed and started to walk around the house. Pictures of a smiling Dakota and a blonde girl with brown eyes decorated a small table in the hallway. Above then a flowery landscape sat on the wall.  
While the place seemed perfectly normal, Loki still felt as if something was out of place. The entire flat looked as if it was set up for two residents, while as far as he knew, there were only two. He dismissed the thought and walked up to one of the many l stacked papers on a table. He took a few off the tower and sat down in a nearby chair.  
_1. the stress of having a kid_  
_2. the expenses of having a kid_  
_3. teenage drama_  
_4. wasn't a boy_  
_5. mom couldn't have kids after me, my fault?_  
_6. Didnt love mom but had to stay because of child_  
_7. wasnt a-_  
Loki threw the paper aside, he wasn't interested in reading some list. He kept rummaging through the pile but non seemed appealing. There were about 100 lists and 50 photo copies copies of a peice of paper with two words, _Thanks Dakota_.  
While it all seemed strange, Loki wasn't satisfied. He saw nothing but lists, photo copies, and moderate sketches. Everything in this house bored him. The walls where a boring blue, the ceiling a boring white, the furniture was all the same design, yet something was keeping Loki there. The girl may be quite ordinary, but something still drew him to her. Perhaps it was the sadness she hid behind her smile, her simple yet pretty complexion, or the fact that she accepted Loki when others cast him aside. What ever the reason, Dakota was definitely why Loki decided to stay in this uneventful home.

"Good morning." Yawned a messy haired Dakota entering the den. She spied her stranger lounging on the sofa with the newspaper and gave a brief smile.  
"Good morning." Loki flipped the page trying his best to seem uninterested in his host. Luckily he didn't have to pretend for long because Dakota stepped into the bathroom for a morning shower.  
With a silent sigh of relief, Loki glanced longingly at the bathroom door. Pondering why she would allow a stranger into her home, Loki licked his thumb, flipped the page, and continued to read the news.  
About fifteen minutes later Dakota came out looking like her normal self.  
"Anything interesting?" She motioned towards the paper.  
"Define interesting."  
"Thats what I thought." She walked to the kitchen and started to make herself a bowl of cereal, leaving Loki confused. He honestly didn't know what was interesting by Earth standards. In Asgard big news were Fighting wars with planets, discovering new galaxies, and a royal heir becoming the greatest outlaw. A child suffering from a disease would just be a misfortune rather than a headline.  
"Why did you take me in?" Loki couldn't help but ask the question that had bothered him all morning.  
"Well, I suppose It's because I'm lonely. I used to share this place with a good friend, but she moved to Africa as a part of her medical training." Dakota didn't really have a reason as to why she let a strange man into her house, she was just spouting excuses. "Or, perhaps it was because you said you have family problems, and I do too. Its been a while since I've meet someone as betrayed by a family member as me." She poured her milk and sat down on the sofa next to Loki.  
"So what happened to you?" Loki was genuinely curious, he cared about this girl for some unknown reason.  
"Well, umm... Theres really no easy way to put it other than, my dad, he umm... He... I'm sorry." Dakota tried to stop the uncontrollable tears that started to drip down her face. Ten years and she still couldn't share her story without crying.  
"It's ok." Loki had no idea what to do. He hovered his hand above her hunched-over shoulders contemplating whether to pat her back. After a few more muffled sobs he finally decided to do so.  
"I'm sorry you have to see me like this, I just, I can't control myself when it comes to my dad's suicide."  
"Dakota, I'm so sorry, I-" he didn't know what else to say.  
"No, you're not. It wasn't your fault."  
"Well it certainly wasn't yours." Loki was uncomfortable and just wanted her to calm down.  
"Actually, It was." She sniffled a bit and sat up to face her stranger. "I know what true betrayal and pain feels like, after all my own father killed himself, leaving nothing but a note saying it was my fault. Thats the real reason why I brought you home. I couldn't let someone suffer the way I had. I wanted to help you, but I guess you cant fix a broken toy with broken parts."  
"Two halves make a whole." And with that Loki leaned in a little towards Dakota's face, and Dakota to his. There was a quick unsure pause between the two of them before Loki dived in for the kiss. What he thought was going to be a short kiss turned into a passionate make-out between the two broken hearts. And before Loki even knew it he had his hands up Dakota's shirt. Loki was unsure wether to keep going until she started to tug at his. He first pulled off his shirt and then helped unbutton hers. They laid shirtless on the couch still kissing for a while. Loki's abs pressed hard on Dakotas small waist making her a little uncomfortable but she still stayed prostate against the sofa, afraid she would ruin the moment if she decided to move. So instead, she started to unbutton his pants. He stopped for a moment and stared into her eyes as if asking if she was sure. She nodded her head and they then continued to slip each others pants off their legs. She slowly started to sit up with Loki still on top of her, and then at an even slower pace started to stand up. Loki helped pick her up in hope to speed up the slow process and pushed Dakota against the wall. She would would have yipped in pain at the impact her head made with the wall, but her mouth was so twisted in his she didn't think she could make any sound.  
The couple slowly inched its way into Dakota's bedroom where she fell onto the mattress she had just slept alone in last night. Loki came down above her and continued to intertwine his mouth with hers. Frustrated now with how slow this was occurring, Dakota started tugging at her and his underwear making the two bodies completely vulnerable and exposed to each other. She grabbed a condom she kept inside her bedside table and carefully slipped her hands under his warm body to his erection where she slipped the rubber covering on him.  
"What are we doing?" Loki questioned as he felt his well known organ harden.  
"Making each other whole." Dakota wailed as Loki pushed his dick hard into her. He may have been a little rusty, but Dakota didn't seem to mind. He pulled himself out and pushed in again. This time Dakota groaned in pleasure as she clawed his back. He repeated the action a few times before Dakota interrupted.  
"Have I fixed you yet, John?" Loki paused and talked in uneven breath.  
"My name is actually Loki."  
"I like that name better. It's more unique, just like you." Dakota smiled as she urged him to continue. He twisted his lips in hers and rolled them over on their sides. After a minute or two of the passionate kissing, Dakota rolled him on his back and sunk beneath the covers. Unsure of what she was doing, Loki opened his mouth about to ask only to mutter a few sighs of pleasure as she took off the condom and wrapped her tongue around his cock. Sucking and pulling Dakota found herself with a mouthful of bitter ejaculate, which she swallowed full heartedly.

"Thank you." Dakota whispered as she lay on his chest.  
"For what?"  
"For being my other half, even if it is only temporary." Loki wondered to himself if it would be temporary, he liked the feeling he got when he was with her, but he didn't belong on Earth. But to be honest, he didn't much belong on Asgard either. And besides, maybe Earth wasn't so bad after all. A planet of love and hope. A world filled with joy, curiosity, and life. Who knew, maybe Loki would enjoy it here after all.  
He looked down at the tangled mess of hair and the hopeless girl that latched on to him so tightly and smiled. If there was one good thing to being banished from your home planet, it would be this. Loki almost decided to mutter thank you to Thor, but decided against it. He would rather enjoy this moment than remember the misfortunes he had been given to deal with.


End file.
